My Hair !

img_1094

OK…it’s probably the #1 question I get—anything about my hair.  So, I’m thinking if you are interested enough to look at the blog, you’re probably interested in the progress with my hair!  It is growing!!–slowly to me, but still it’s growing.  I got the greatest compliment this past weekend (ok, maybe not the greatest, but it was still good) from Bailey –my 8 year old.  I was not wearing my baseball hat and I walked into her room and she said “Hey mom, you look like a normal person.” I said “I am a normal person!”–She said ‘I know, but now you look like someone who did not shave their head!”  This actually boosted my confidence a little and I went to church without a hat on the next day!!

Ten months ago when I was told I had breast cancer and would need chemo– it didn’t take me long to think about the whole hair thing.  Honestly, when you are faced with the word “cancer”-hair doesn’t seem that big of a deal.  And I specifically remember saying “I don’t care if I lose my hair…I just want to survive!”–but boy was I wrong.   Exactly 17 days after my first chemo treatment, my hair started falling out.  Not much at first, but after a few days, it was coming out in clumps.   And I did care!  Following a lot of people’s advice, I went ahead and had my whole head “shaved”– it really wasn’t shaved, it was more of a “buzz” –my dear friend Tracie came over to my house (after my kids were in bed!)–and buzzed me good.  It was very hard for me–almost surreal….I couldn’t even look at it that night.  The next day I looked in the mirror and it was awful….and very gray!!  

Thankfully, I had already chosen a wig from the SWEETEST lady at Rolands at Park Rd.  (That’s my shout out to Lygia there–so perfectly suited for that job)—thanks to my mom and dad who purchased the $350 wig.  (yes! i couldn’t believe it either)  I totally loved my wig–I know that sounds crazy, but in a weird way ( and coupled with LOTS of denial–jerel called it healthy denial) it was nice to not have to fix my hair.  Here is a picture of my wig:

img_0503

So, I wore it in April, May, and throughout the summer. (except at the pool I would have to wear doo-rags–thanks june! or hats…it was just TOO hot for a wig)  

In October, my hair began growing back and suddenly, I just got REALLY tired of wearing the wig.  I know everyone is different, so I’m just describing how I felt for ME.  I just started to feel like it wasn’t me–and now that i had “some-not much” hair, I would be ok with hats.  Looking now at pictures (see below) I can see that I was much more attractive in my wig, but I had to go with how I felt.  And I had to LIVE what I believed that I am much more than my hair!

img_0724

So, for the past few months, my hair has grown slowly.  My oncologist (Dr. Boyd who I LOVE!)– said as you see your hair grow back, it’s a sign that your body is getting more healthy and you’re feeling better, etc. And it is so true.  At the same time, I have said “I HATE this!” about a million times–ask Jerel.  I’ve cried in the shower several times….but all the while, I’ve been VERY thankful that I am here to complain about my hair!! It’s been a huge lesson in humility….also having to believe that beauty IS on the inside.  And truly believing that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm  139–go read it now!)

OK–I know TMI (“too much information”–in case my mom and dad are reading)–but it was very therapeutic to type all this!!  All my posts won’t be this long.  🙂

Advertisements

8 Responses to “My Hair !”

  1. Tricia Hargett Dean Says:

    I think you look beautiful. Your hair looks great short and you looked beautiful in your wig too.

  2. Sue Uibel Says:

    Susan,
    You are beautiful — hair or no hair. And I, like so many, ADMIRE and APPLAUD your courage for sharing your walk with us. It is YOUR walk of faith, so it will look like no one else’s, so I am glad you’re doing the things that feel right for you. I think the wig is beautiful — and your new grow-in hair is looking GREAT! I LIKE IT, too! I’m just thankful to know YOU and can walk and pray and share in your family’s life – even via blogworld. Keep it up!

  3. Katie Hartline Says:

    You look beautiful Susan! Just like I told you Christmas Eve…boy I was walking down the hair road with you…as someone who has walked in your shoes…I felt every emotion you did…I still revel in the fact that I have hair some days when I wash my hair…5 years later…
    Your blog is wonderful…so glad we were able to reconnect at Christmas!!

  4. Sherrie Cockram Says:

    I met you when you were in hats. The first time you came into the waiting room. I remember thinking how young you were. It was hard to be there myself, but it was even harder to see someone your age there. A very young mother of 3. You are a trooper and you are “so much more than your hair. “I am a better person for having met Susan Bailey Law…

  5. Sunny Green Says:

    Susan-
    Thank you for sharing. This post reminded me of one of my favorite verses – 1 Samuel 16:7. “For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” So true and I am thankful. Oh, Dr. Boyd was my granddad’s doctor too! He was very encouraging.

  6. hdooley Says:

    What a great post!! Your faith and strength have been an encouragement to me! I plan to show Ada Grace this picture so she can see that your hair is growing back. Regardless, I am sure she will continue to pray for you at night!!

  7. Robin Says:

    you are beautiful – love you and miss you!

  8. Edie Stanfield Says:

    Susan — YOU are one of God’s MOST PRECIOUS creations with or without hair! I love you! Edie

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: