4/13/2010

How am I doing?  I get this question all the time–and I am so thankful to have so many people who care about me–I am feeling really good–I’m on the back porch right now, on Jerel’s laptop (i’m so jealous of his mac laptop)– listening to some Lady Antebellum (i want to go back to american honey) and some brad paisley (i thought i loved jerel THEN!)—you only get those if you’re a country music fan–which i have become lately!

the kids are on the swingset, luke just fell off the swing and screamed his HEAD OFF (the neighbors totally love us!)–and i went out there and mentioned the word “popsicle” and it was like i hit a mute button. seriously, it’s crazy.  i just finished washing some strawberries (4/$5 at Teeter ends today)–it’s just a good day.*** (see bottom of post)

radiation is going fine. i go downtown every day for a session.  if things are running smoothly, i can be done (sign in, wait, change clothes, wait, have the radiation, change clothes again and leave) in 20 minutes….so literally i’m in car more than i’m in the dr. office.  i mentioned in my last post that i’m praying every time the radiation buzz goes off.  (3 sets of about 20 seconds each).  So, last week, I decided that I was going to start praying scripture–verses from the Bible.  To update you , I finished my “read through the Bible” back in March–it took me 8 months. Now, I’m going back through it to take notes on my underlines.  I’m developing a journal for my kids to have that will have all the stories/verses that i like and why.

Anyway,  i’m choosing scripture to pray during the actual radiation when i ask God to use this radiation to heal me.  I thought I’d maybe post of these in my blog, to help anyone who is going through something now–whether it’s cancer or something else.  Here was last week’s verses

2 Samuel 22:17-20  “He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.  He rescued me from my powerful enemy from my foes who were too strong for me… He rescued me because he delighted in me.”

2 Kings 20:3 (Hezekiah praying in the midst of an illness)  “Remember O Lord, how I have walked before you faithfully and with whole-hearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes”

SO, I literally pray these — it’s actually a pretty powerful feeling to pray scripture.

This Friday , I go back to my oncologist to just check in.  If I have any news, I’ll share, but otherwise, I have done 11 of 32 sessions.  So, I expect we’ll do some sort of scan maybe end of May to see where we stand.

****to end this post, i do know that i haven’t posted in a while– i just haven’t been in the mood to blog.  i have some mixed feelings about blogging right now.  i don’t want to be a “blogger bragger”— my comments up at the top of this post would lead you to think that i am a blogger bragger.    (friends who blog–don’t get me wrong, i like reading yours…i just know that sometimes blogs can begin to sound self-absorbed)   i ONLY write about the good things that happen or the “moments” that we have as a family- believe me, we have our “other moments too”  i just choose not to write about the day we were going to McDs and had to turn around and go home b/c our kids couldn’t get along, or the ways we feel like we fail or we’re ‘winging it’ with our kids-  etc.

so, here is why i blog ( to be clear, as mud probably):  I started this blog as a fun way to connect with friends and family who I don’t see often.  When I was diagnosed with cancer two years ago, honestly–people really do want to know how we are doing–physically, mentally, spiritually, etc.  SO, to ramble on–i use it to update people–it’s much easier to type it once than say it 200 times.  I use it to connect to other cancer survivors—-it’s possible to have a pretty normal life in the midst of this disease—the breast cancer statistics are Staggering (1 in 8?)–so some people I know will either get it or have someone they are close to get it—so maybe they’ll remember some of my journey?   I also want to be someone who lives out my faith.  I don’t want to go through all this for nothing–so if someone can read about my faith during this trial and grow in their relationship with God-  that is what I want!    Also, I do hope that we print this blog out someday so that my kids can have it.  (i’m not a journaler)—-i want them to have a record some of the FUN we have, some of those “moments”–and I want them to see how much i really do believe in God— (notice I said “believe” and “have” –the present tense is VERY intentional)

Do I think you want to read all about every little thing I write about?  No..I really don’t.  That’s why I am labeling the Health Updates–as UPDATES…..  OK, now that’s all off my chest–now I just might blog a little more.  I was feeling funny thinking some of you might be like… “Really?  I don’t want to read all that….”  🙂

That’s all for now—

Love,

Susan

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15 Responses to “4/13/2010”

  1. sherrie cockram Says:

    I would still wait all day, patiently and with pleasure! Hang in there Susan. I think of you every day. How’s the crew? Tell them hello fro The Riverrat!

    • susanlaw Says:

      hi sherrie! not feeling the new group yet. there are a few pretty old, really sick people in there now. 😦 one guy who reads the paper the whole time….. not sure if i’ll meet any new friends or not! i’ll tell lara, keri amanda and james hello!

  2. Tracey Wilson Wert Says:

    I so get the country music references. That’s hilarious that you’ve started listening because I have too!!! I’ve never been a fan and my husband and oldest son think I have lost my mind! However, my daughter has joined right in and loves it with me. Glad to know I am not alone!!!

    Great to be updated and I don’t think you are a blogger bragger at all. For those of us who are not near you physically, it’s a great way for us to keep up to speed without bothering you for details. Please keep it up and know that I am praying for you and the family!

    Tracey

  3. Lori Stepp Says:

    susan, I love your blogs. I don’t think you are bragging at all.. just giving us an honest glimpse into your life. I’m glad you are doing well. I am praying

  4. suzanne mitchell Says:

    I just love you ! I sent these to my mom who has breast cancer, I love to read your blogs…..hope to see you soon…

  5. Shannon Ball Says:

    Susan,
    I hope you don’t mind, I’d love to tag your blog in mine. Like you, I hate to “talk” about myself, but it is a way to keep our out of town friends and family updated on all we have been through and what is currently happen. Our trials have not been health, but because we too BELIEVE in God, He continues to carry us through them as we praise Him during each storm! I have several friends that are not as confident in their beliefs and love to share other peoples faith with them!
    Continued Prayers Sent your way!

  6. amy Says:

    You say, Really? I say, I really do want to read what you are up to….. I miss you, so thank you for sharing your stories, thoughts etc…

  7. katie Says:

    thank you for sharing your journey Susan…we are all blessed to read about your thoughts, stories and your truly amazing faith…xoxo Katie

  8. Sheryl Says:

    You are an inspiration to all of us and bring us hope in the midst of the trials in life!! Thank you for sharing with us the scriptures you are praying … I’m printing them off… Sending love and prayers your way!!!

  9. Barbara Says:

    Susan,
    Everyone who loves you reads and enjoys reading everything you care to blog about. It’s as close as I can get to talking to you over coffee! I wish you’d write more often about anything that’s on your mind. It gives me a way to keep up with your life. Sssooo, my little friend, don’t worry about feeling “funny” about talking about yourself. We all think it’s great. Do it more!
    Love,
    Barbara

  10. Cammie Howard Says:

    I love your blog Susan. Thanks for being real and for giving us a glimpse into your heart. I respect you girl!

  11. Brenda Mason Says:

    Dear Cousin,
    Your blogs are great and not at all self absorbed. I have seen some that are, but not yours. Keep up with the thoughts and updates. I really want to know as much as you are willing to share.
    That Bailey looks and sounds like a phenomenal young girl.Those boys and Jerel
    are pretty cool,too.
    I can remember finding old diaries and letters written by the Bailey girls around Miss Bessie’s house at Dry Creek. It is hard for children to fathom that their parents were once young! Whatever you write for your kids they will cherish.
    Keep the faith. Love, Brenda

  12. Edie Says:

    Susan — I constantly check your blog!!! I LOVE to read about the children (and Jerel!) and I’m also MAJORLY interested in how you are getting along physically. You are such an inspiration to me and I love you!!!!

    Edie

  13. Joan Rogers Says:

    Hi Susan,
    Love hearing what’s new. I love the blog idea for all the reasons you mentioned. I wasn’t savvy enough to do one and wish I had–would have been easier and nice to have a record so don’t stop!! You will be amazed how the ripples will reach out and touch someone you never met. Congrats to Jeral on his half!! Way cool. Love to all–
    Joan

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