1-20-11

Thanks to all of you who are celebrating the book with me.  I appreciate your kindness and your supportive comments.  The hope is that it will be out before Christmas.  I’ll let you know when I know more about that.

We’re traveling to see family for the next couple of days so I won’t be checking in here until Sunday.  Here’s a quote from the CS Lewis book that has resonated with me lately.  He lost his wife to cancer and wrote about it in “A Grief Observed”:

“It’s not that I’m always thinking of H.  (his wife)  Work and conversation make that impossible.  But the times when I’m not are perhaps my worst.  For then, though I have forgotten the reason, there is spread over everything a vague sense of wrongness, of something amiss.  Like in those dreams where nothing terrible occurs – nothing that would sound even remarkable if you told it at breakfast-time – but the atmosphere, the taste, of the whole thing is deadly.  So with this.  I see the rowan berries reddening and don’t know for a moment why they, of all things, should be depressing.  I hear a clock strike and some quality it always had before has gone out of the sound.  What’s wrong with the world to make it so flat, shabby, worn-out looking?  Then I remember.

This is one of the things I’m afraid of.  The agonies, the mad midnight moments, must, in the course of nature, die away.  But what will follow?  Just this apathy, this dead flatness?  Will there come a time when I no longer ask why the world is like a mean street, because I shall take the squalor as normal?  Does grief finally subside into boredom tinged by faint nausea?”  (p 47-48)

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4 Responses to “1-20-11”

  1. Kyle Wallace Says:

    I am thrilled for you, brother, regarding the book deal. I had no doubt that in time, with your perseverance, this day would come. As for this Lewis quote, thanks for observing your grief in a way that draws me into your heart even more!

  2. Phyllis Mills Says:

    Susan’s blog would make a wonderful book! I hope you will consider publishing it.

  3. Judith Bryant Says:

    Jerel,

    Your Posts are so Thought Inspiring and Provoking. My, your Insight is Astounding! You Should compile these with your blog and publish that too!!! God Bless on Your Trip to visit Family!!! May You and the Children have a Peaceful and Healing Time with More of those who Love You!

  4. Joan Says:

    First….congratulations on the book. Keep an eye out for angels and send thanks that way, although none is needed. It is just nice to be appreciated. It adds energy to their work and presence.
    I do believe from my experience and observation of others, that for most people (those with faith) grief transmutes into a kind of love and grace that can fill a heart. I am not sure that those who don’t allow for grief ever really understand the wholeness of love. Winter is not just death…it really is the beginning of spring and new life, but it takes time and can not be hurried. Blessings.

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