Have Your Way

I found this song in some of Bailey’s music.  I don’t think Susan ever knew it, but it reminds me exactly of what she was feeling about – and saying to – God all along the way.  Especially the last few months of her life.  It just kind of wrecked me here, and I think God used it this morning to remind me not only of who she was and is, but who He always is.

Have your way. It’s really the most important, meaningful, honest prayer we can ever pray.

“Remind me you take broken things, and turn them into beautiful…”



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11 Responses to “Have Your Way”

  1. Chris Osborn Says:

    great song… my girls & I are big fans of Britt… such eloquence & trust from one so young–and she’s just got some great grooves & beats, too… 🙂

    Congrats on the book deal… yet another passion it looks like you and I (and our families) share. I do hope we cann connect & hang out sometime to catch up… Chris

  2. Het Says:

    WOW!!! That song is powerful. I just listened to it over and over again. Thanks for your honesty Jerel, you minster to me in each blog and so many others.

  3. Maureen Longo Says:

    Jerel, thinking of you today and wanted to congratulate you on the angel book series! I know it was a collaborative effort with Susan and the kids as editor and critiquers. What a powerful voice you have as a writer. Everyone is excited with you. I really hope you can share ‘Susan’s Story’ as a book someday. Her blog has meant so much to so many. Blessings for a healing heart.

  4. Tom Worthington Says:

    You and Susan have been an inspiration to a great number of people.
    Maybe that was the plan.

  5. em Says:

    Thank you for continuing to post. I am inspired by your sorrow, love and commitment…. but even more by your faith, hope and celebration. You are an inspiration to me, and I hope many others.

  6. Carolyn Says:

    Jerel – If the number of responses to your updates is getting less, please do not take that as a sign that people are becoming disinterested in them. Perhaps many are like me that feel we should allow the responses to come from those who know you personally and are closer to you. I have to tell you though, I still wait every evening to see if there is a new post before I go to bed. Your words are so meaningful, soothing and, yes, at times still heart wrenching. I cry with you, celebrate with you on your good news, stand in awe of you for how you have (and still are) handling this, and continue to pray for you and the kids.

  7. Carole Says:

    Love you all… praying.

  8. Julie Says:

    I agree with Carolyn…I stand quietly in the corner out of respect but hang on to every word…your blog lastnight (the YouTube song) was just what I needed at that very moment and only God could have known that..and how that song could bring me out of a very dark hole of hopelessness and depression and thrust me back into His loving arms…please continue to be a vessel of His love and wisdom. Praying for you daily….

  9. Barb Says:

    Lots of us are still here & praying for you. You aren’t alone. So many people love you and your kids and we are traveling this difficult road with you- as much as we can. And, when we can’t go with you, we are cheering, pulling, and praying for all of you Baileys and Laws. We’re here. You’re not alone. Keep traveling!

  10. Nancy (Thompson) Bumgarner Says:

    Jerel – I think Carolyn summed it up for many of us. I have been following every single post daily (for months). She captured my thoughts and feelings perfectly. Know that you and your family are on my heart and continue to be in my thoughts and prayers, and will be for a long time to come. May His healing hand be upon you all.

  11. Kathryn Says:

    This is the date in my calender where I “remember” saying goodbye to someone that meant the world to me. January 26. It is one of those obvious days i open the flood gates completely and see what is there.

    So much of what you have written my heart knows. I read your words and feel the sharp recognition of my own thoughts that I couldn’t put into a tangible object. I go off on long walks into the woods or along the coast and have to make such an effort to clear my thoughts…to hear the message through all the static.

    It has been a few years for me now. One of my healthiest survival tactics is to take a hard/sad memory ..and replace it with my favorite ones. Or to make a new moment that would have made us laugh till we couldn’t breath and our tummies ached. I have made some amazing “memories” with my loved one long after she went. What I have found so amazing..is that the love and joy of someone that isn’t physically here to comfort me or share with me day to day..is still here. My heart knows and can laugh at how my loved one would have responded…and half of the joy is knowing that this will never go away. Thank goodness for our faith in God but on the human element thank goodness as well for creative thinking.

    In the early days and months it took a great exhausting effort to make and build joy in the middle of the pain. Now, I am better at knowing when I need to plan a “Joyful Memory”. We have wondered around in the woods with a picnic and flask. We have had silly tea parties where all the ladies were made to make dresses out of newspaper. We have danced in the ‘most uncool manner’ in public just because..and laughed even harder at the response of the unsuspecting public. I have cycled 50 miles enjoying the countryside and talking the whole time. Went to Mcdonalds dressed in silly hats for breakfast. Inside Out clothes dinners..just to laugh. to make the ordinary something special.

    I have young children as well…mine are a bit younger and only know that I am being silly. I love that I am making memories in their childhood that will make them laugh or even groan and roll their eyes when they get older.

    I also have a journal. where i write down as much as my memory has about the happy, good, and important memories from all the years before. I include smells, background noise, feelings i felt, words spoken. time of day… I find it a huge comfort. Leave space to add notes later to each memory. This journal i find most helpful in handwriting..not on a computer. I can put it in a drawer, on a walk or leave it on the table or just hold it. I like that the pages are starting to rub a bit on the edges. I even like to see how my handwriting has changed through the process. some memories are quickly scratched down..others are methodically placed and precisely measured to fit the page and lines.

    Thank you for you honesty and openness. It isn’t just your words, but also your verse choices and songs. Thank you.

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