In her own words

There’s a journal I referenced a few posts ago that I’ve been reading.  It’s one I found that Susan wrote in the summer of 1993, when we were dating and I was on a six-week trip to Kazakhstan.  She wrote it to me, since we basically couldn’t communicate during that time.  It has been a lifeline for me, a connection to Susan that at times has taken my breath away.  I’m reading it a little at a time, trying to savor every word.  I picked it up and read this entry today:

I just finished reading “The Applause of Heaven” (Max Lucado).  Jerel, I think you would really love it.  The end of the book made me cry.  He is talking about when we go to heaven.  He describes it, and the very last sentence says, “…and maybe, the One who would rather die than live without you will remove His pierced hands from his heavenly robe and…applaud.”

I can’t imagine God applauding for me!  I really can’t.  I guess it makes me so thankful (and humble) that God really loves me, despite what I do, only because of Jesus.  It makes me want to live for him and serve him.  Earlier in this chapter, Lucado says, speaking of good deeds, “we shouldn’t work in order to go to heaven, but because we’re going to heaven.”  I thought that was cool.

This entry floored me today.  It was exactly what I needed to hear.  I know without a doubt that when God welcomed Susan into His presence, He applauded and said “Well done, my good and faithful servant”.

Susan would tell you that the reason this could happen – the reason she could be in the presence of God at all – was because of Him, not her.  She turned her heart over to Him and welcomed Jesus into her life, to lead, forgive, and save her.  I wish I could have seen that moment when He welcomed her home.  I can’t imagine how exciting it was for her.  I’m so glad she wrote her thoughts down about it so many years ago.

4 Responses to “In her own words”

  1. kathrynstory Says:

    Thanks for shaing that Jerel. What a bneautuful picture of her reception into Heaven!

  2. Hope Says:

    Jerel — what a blessing you have found in this book of Susan’s. Thank you for sharing that blessing and her amazing message with us.

  3. Christie Says:

    What an incredible lady! And what an incredible God who made her! …and let her write these words all those years ago that would so encourage you now. I mean, it’s just really amazing! I’m so thankful that He is the One who walks every step of life with us, encouraging us in ways like this that are so personal, that take our breath away!

    Again, we are strangers, friends of friends’ friends….but my husband and I have not been able to stop reading your blog since the end of December and we continue to pray for you and the kids.

  4. Barb Says:

    Hang in there Jerel. We’re still with you.

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